Monday, September 10, 2007

10th September

I'll start with the good stuff...the nice stuff...K?
I did a couple of LO's in the shop today

This first one is for the Sussie Dares Blog chjallenge 'Garden' and is of my littest two in grandma's garden. I don't have much of a garden ASTM...damnable water ristrictions, and I found this stick out the back of the shop...it looked interesting so I stapled it down....lol


This is offcourse my DH...he can't sing, he can't play any sort of instrument, in fact he is not mucially talented in ANY way....but I think he would love to live the 'Rock star' lifesyle...lol


And now the not so nice stuff....

It has been 7 years today since I lost my beautiful daughter Mikayla. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, what she would be doing, what she would look like...all that stuff. I can hardly believe it has been so long, there have been times when I didn't think I could live 7 minutes, let along 7 years without her. But alothough time doesn't make it easier, or less painful, it does make it easier to cope with. Now days I try to consertrate on how lucky I was that I had her in my life at all, that I did have those precious 2 years 2 months and 2 days. I have memories of my daughter, and I am all too aware that some others in a similar situation to mine, haven't any. I can clearly remember her face, and how she used to stomp around, and cross her little chubby arms, and drop her bottom lips. I see little bits of her in her sibblings, the way Ronin screams 'I do it', how Lily tells her brothers what to do, The way Scott know exactly when Mum needs a cuddle, and the intelligent sparkle in Krissy's eyes, all remind me of her. It's a comfort. A lady came into the shop last week and recognised me from the story (it was all over the newspapers at the time) and asked me weather I did pages on Mik. I thought it a bit of a silly question really, because Offourse I do. "Thats good' she said 'Gone, but not forgotton'. Now this lady was trying to be nice, and I wasn't angry or upset with her in any way...she just didn't understand. You see to me, Mikayla is not gone, and she couldn't possibly be ever forgotton. She is with me and her brothers and sisters everyday...I know it.

I am rambling....I just really wanted to say this.

To My darling Mikayla,

'If tears could build a path,
and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven,
and bring you home again'

Mummy loves you darling girl, now, forever and always.


I did this LO of her a long while ago, so I thought I would share it


Really sorry guys if I have upset, or totally bummer anyone out. I just figured that this was my little piece of cyber space, and I wanted to put it out there IYKWIM. Not all days are beds of roses...well not for me anyway, so in the spirit of reality, I thought I would share some of the bad, along with the good.

Take care, and thanks for having a read...if you got this far

Hugs and kisses

Cass xxxx

7 comments:

kerry said...

Oh cass ,
That is a beautiful thought that you had by writing about your precious Mikayla she is adorable.And i fell some of that pain when i read this nothing like what you are feeling but i understand that you will always have her in your heart and thoughts.Big hugs to you and your family and she is watching over you.She is certainly an angel above and you will meet again oneday.take care luv Kerry xoxox

Fran said...

I can't imagine how that is, to lose a child. I'm thinking of you and am so glad you feel your little girl still with you, after all, she needs to be with her mummy. Beautiful writing and gorgeous LO of a gorgeous girl.

Fran xx

Kat Thompson said...

*hugs* to you and your family

When you weren't around a lot online lately, I thought it might have been the anniversary looming. I don't for a second doubt that she's still there with you in spirit, hun.

You take care, ok??

Yvette Adams said...

I have tears in my eyes but I don't for a second wish you hadn't shared this. It's so important to keep her as part of your life. She will always be a part of you and your life.

The photo and layout are just beautiful.

Hugs to you (and I won't pretend to understand how you feel!)

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Those that we love never tend to go far from us sweetheart.. so i am certain that you are right when you say that Mikayla is with you and yours, every single minute of every day. You are so right that it never gets easier.. how could it.. she is a part of you.. though.. to cope is to survive.. right!? :)
Thinking of you gorgeous lady.. always.
SJ.
xxx

PS: Every time i see that beautiful face... she takes my breath away.. a beautiful lil cherus is what she is! xx

~sending the tightest warmest hugs your way~

Anonymous said...

hello darling
sorry i missed this....too caught up in my own *stuff* so forgive me babe.
thinking of you and the fam and of course your gorgeous angel in heaven mikayla. can't wait to meet her up there one day ;)
love you
lus x