OK...so I pretty sure all of you can read that today is the the 10th of September. It's a beautiful day today in Brisbane, the sun is shining, it's warm, without being hot, and the air smells fresh and clean. I am a very smell sensitive person, and I can smell september like nothing eles, and it should be lovely. It has been a beauitful day in brisbane on the 10th of sept every year for the last 8 years. I know this because the 10th of september 2000 was the day my house burnt down and my beautiful baby girl Mikayla was lost to me. I always think it should rain, that the sky should be dark and the whole world should feel as revolting as I do....but it never ever does. Maybe it's God's way of telling me that the world is beautiful, or maybe that is his way of trying to cheer me up a little....but I really do wish it would rain.
I never do anything special on this day, it's not a day to celebrate. We have cake for her birthday, and celebrate her life then...but not today. Today I just want the sun to set...and exhale, because I know tommorrow I will feel better. For some reason today has hit me pretty hard this year. For those of you who have lost a child you will understand. I feel ripped off, and angry. It's just not fair. I don't want to visit a peice of stone on the grass....I want to buy a 10 year old girl some new clothes....or even fight with her over her hair. I want to hear her voice...not desparatley try to remember a little girls baby babble as she said 'I wuv oo ummmy', but to talk to her and ask her about her day. Today I miss her...just like every day....but a little bit more.
I don't want to bum any one out, but I figure this is my blog, and I need a little vent.
Read this, hug you kids, and look at the bright beautiful day, because it is beautiful, and smile. I know I will, and I will try my very utmost to remeber how lucky I am that I got to hold my little girl, how lucky I am to have those memories, and how absolutley blessed I am to be able to call her daughter.
thanks for reading
Hugs
Cass xxxx
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I miss my angel girl
E-mail me...c'mon!!!
tick tock...:)
Teaching Dates...c'mon have a giggle...:)
- Australasian Scrapbooking & Papercrafts Convention Brisbane, 6-8th June 2009
- Stamping and Scrapbook Madness- Sat 17 Jan, Mon 2nd Feb, Fri 13th Feb, Sat 21st Feb
Published Work
girlie girl...:)
Posts
Thanks to Lu for this...anit I cute???!!!!!
Twitter Updates
A quick way to say Hello!!! leave a comment here :) :) :)
I am....:)....lol
Where I hang out!!!!!
FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed
FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(61)
-
▼
September
(12)
- Scrap Mojo Challenge
- Hi, Hello, Howdy!!!Well how is everyones school Ho...
- Design X
- Scrap Mojo and Design X
- One little word
- Some people are worth more than diamonds or gold. ...
- OK...so I pretty sure all of you can read that tod...
- White with 1 AGAIN...and Aussie Scrapjack...AGAIN!...
- White with one Challenge
- Another Scrapjack....lol, and Art is found
- One little word, Aussie Scrapjack....and a bit of fun
- Goodbyes....and new Beginnings
-
▼
September
(12)
This is ME
My Beautiful Mikayla
I miss my angel girl
13 comments:
Oh my goodness I'm just bawling reading your post. I just want to give you a big hug. I'm glad you shared how you're feeling. I can't begin to imagine...
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Thinking of you babe and wishing you strawberry lipgloss smells.
L xx
Hey Cass that is so sad to read but i can never imagine how you are feeling.Big hug to you girl and your familty too take care Love Kerry xx
Hey Cass, feeling for you right now. Can't say I know what it's like, but total heartbreak.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you babe
Nicxx
Oh Cass..... Thinking of you and hope that your memories continue to bring you some smiles....
Love you sweetie...but heck you know that already!
((hugs))xxJilly
hey cass. u almost had me in tears at work. i can't image what you've been through. smile through those tears - and the sun will continue to shine.
x ali
oh gosh cass - i had no idea you have suffered such a tremendous loss. i cannot even begin to understand what you are going through, but my heart just is breaking for you. your post made me cry for your little baby girl, and your family.
god bless
Cass, I just found this post and couldn't leave without saying something. I can't even begin to imagine the nightmare that you've lived since losing your little girl. Your post made my breath catch in my chest. And yes, it does seem unfair that the sun should continue to shine and that the world should keep rotating on such a momentous (for all the wrong reasons) day. Big hugs. Take care.
Hey Cass,
Just blog surfing and came across your post.
I'm so sorry about your loss and can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you, especially on the 10th of September.
Just take some comfort in knowing that she is in a better place with the angels.
Big hugs.
Sharryn T
xx
I have no words to say but bless you. What an amazing and strong women you are. All of your children are so lucky!!!
Watching Boston Legal ages ago, Alan raised a toast. He said, simply, 'my loss'. Denny turned to him and asked why it was his loss when he'd never met the man who had died. Alan turned and replied that never meeting him was a loss in itself, and a regret that would linger.
I didn't know you back then, though seeing the wonderful people your children are becoming, I have no doubt that Mikayla would have been more than beautiful, she would have been (and is) a beautiful soul.
With all my heart, I'm sorry those years were taken from you.
There's a saying that when children die, it's because God wants his angel back. I can't help but think he needs to learn some patience.
Love to you all, hun. *hugs*
Oh Cass I don't know how I missed this.
Can I just say you're an amazing woman?? The way that you can go on and love your kids and be a fantastic mum!
I'm certain your beautiful little angel is watching you right now and I bet she's proud of you :)
Post a Comment